Once I Knew

I had a dream that the Lord came.
We were standing on the shore waiting to pour out everything we had.
Or didn’t have.
That’s the first time I felt calm.
Faced with denying the solution of my body missing the nails in my palm.
Yeah I tried to die for you.
I wish I died for me but hey,
That’s why there’s rescue.
And resurrection.
Cause almost every night I see an explosion.
I hear bombs dropped from the sky and get blown to nothing to see what it’s like when you die.
I wait for the sounds of wings and trumpets so I can look up and say,
“Hey. Not guilty.”
“Yeah, I saw you around.”
But that never comes.
I’m left with tiny traces of trajectory in my bones
That way I can tell you what its like in the end.
So when its done,
I know that your heart will swell up and push your bones out and create a new body for you to walk around in.
And when you walk,
The grass will jump and wrap around your feet to remind you its okay to breathe deep.
Then when you breathe in you’ll feel your skin for the first time and realize this,
This is good.
And you’ll realize, finally,
That life is not about trying to figure out who you are
Because you’ll always be too busy creating yourself.
And that’s okay.
I had a dream that the Lord came.
But I doubt he came for me.

About bryanmuirhead

I write, read, talk, listen, teach, learn, draw, take pictures, love, run, walk, and think, but I feel dead more than I feel alive.
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